Live in the Moment

We all could learn this lesson from dogs or any other animal for that matter. Animals live in the moment. What happened two minutes ago is forgotten and they don't know what ``future'' means. I went home over the weekend to visit my parents. As you know from my past posts, my mom has dementia and Alzheimers to the point that most of the time she doesn't recognize her own children, but she knows Groucho! She had a very good day on Saturday. My youngest brother David came by with three of my nieces and the family entertained my mom for about an hour after dinner. She was all lit up like a Christmas Tree! Dave had brought one of his brothers-in-law to meet Dad, so the girls entertained Nanna. I am so glad Dave and his family have moved back home. Now all four of us are together again it makes this awful disease of my mother's much easier to bear. Last week she had apparently gotten out of the house and fell on the gravel drive next to the neighbors' house. Dad neglected to tell me during any of the times that I called. Peter had to call and tell me. He also said he has been trying to talk with Dad as she is getting to the point where he cannot take care of her and she needs 24 hr. care and social activities which she is definitely not getting at home. He simply refuses to have her go to a nursing home. I again spoke with him about it and he said that he thinks I don't understand the situation. I told him I think he's afraid to put her in a home as he thinks he'll be next. He denied it, but I know I hit the mark because he said he plans to die at home. The lesson today is ``Live in the moment'' because on Sunday Dave's family and I had a campfire at the lake and the two neighbor kids, Maddy and her 4 yr. old brother Jimmy joined us. The kids all roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and everyone had a great time, even Groucho, who was busy eating everything that dropped on the ground. My Dad even came down and joined in. Dave told Jimmy that Dad is a leprechaun and Jimmy asked him point blank if he was one! It was so cute! Moments like these are what makes everything that is difficult in life worth going through. The little Jimmys with marshmallow from head to toe asking Dad if he was a leprechaun!

When It's Time for Changes

When Groucho wanted to discontinue eating the dry dog food he let me know by entertaining my mom one Saturday by taking each piece and strategically putting it in a spot in front of the television and then waited until I returned from the store. He refused to eat any of it. My mom just laughed and said that it was his way of telling me that he didn't want to eat that stuff anymore. The time had come for a change in his food. I now cook vegetables, chicken gizzards, liver, beans, rice, and oatmeal for him and he is quite happy with that. He gets raw vegetables as well. He has taught me that when things aren't tasting good, choose something else to eat. The time has come for some changes in my life, mostly related work. About a year ago I realized that things were not improving at work and were actually getting progressively worse. The Admin staff was laid off and now more and more responsibility is being placed on us case managers without added incentives such as pay increases. Now normally that would not bother me too much, but while I'm being paid the same rate, my living expenses, especially the association fees have risen. The total of my monthly mortgage payments and association fees account for more than 50% of my take home pay for one pay period. I have actually gotten behind on these as both are due on the same day. I have decided that it is time to move on job wise if possible. I have been actively interviewing for a position with a company that offers bonuses and other incentives. It is a company with many locations. I won't mention any names at this time. Needless to say, there is the prospect of earning the rate of pay I am currently at plus bonuses. On one hand I want a different job, but on the other I know I will miss my co-workers. This has not been an easy decision to make but it has to be made in order for me to move ahead. More income means being able to pay my bills with less stress and less of the ``rob Peter to pay Paul'' syndrome. It will also allow me to save more money and give more away. I think this is what Dave Ramsey would recommend as a course of action.

comments on blogs I've been reading

I have been busy finding blogs that I like, most of which are posted on this site. Wil Wheaton writes a terrific blog. My advice to you Wil about the issue of shaking strangers' hands at Gen Con events-DON'T! Don't worry about what those people say. Their criticism does not matter in the grand scheme of things. For more thoughts on the subject, check out Seth Godin's blog. He says that that kind of criticism is detrimental and is to be avoided and he is right. You have to do what is best for you. To Pines Lake Redhead: You can't pick your family, which is unfortunate, but you can find a good sisterly relationship with a friend. It sounds like your sister is very judgemental of you, and may be a bit jealous??

Walking in the rain

Today when I get home, Groucho and I will be going out for a walk in the rain. Normally I am not too thrilled with this prospect, but this summer we have had a real drought and so it will be fine to walk in the rain. He doesn't care whether it rains or is sunny outside, he just loves to go! My friends who have his little friend Zoey, give her treats after going for walk as a reward. To me, the reward for Groucho is that he gets to go for a walk with me! Groucho lives in the here and now. All he knows is that he wants to be with me rain or shine, through good times and bad. He knows I will take good care of him. He also takes good care of me. I know he's just a dog, and I also know he was heaven sent. Being single isn't all it's cracked up to be. At least when we go for walks we run into people we know.

Trust

I adopted Groucho a little over five years ago. I had found his photo on petfinder.com and took a friend with me when I went to see him the same week. I had her go with me to make sure I didn't get myself into something I was unsure of. When we got to Fur Keeps in Barrington Hills, the assistant asked us how she could help us and my friend told her that I was there to see Groucho. As soon as she said that two paws landed on my chest and the assistant laughed and said that he was right there! He looked different than the photo, and I realized that he was part German Shorthaired Pointer (I grew up with GSPs). I knew I was sunk. He was so cute! We took him for a walk around the farm (he pulled like a tank!), and went in to speak with the vet. After we sat down he placed his head in my lap and wouldn't leave even though the assistant was trying to get him to come to her to do tricks. He eventually did do some tricks for her. I didn't need to see them as my friend had already said that her being there was pointless as I was not going home without adopting him. He made it very clear. The vet told me she'd never seen him bond with people before and thought we were perfectly matched. She brought him to his new home the next day, but was late because of a flood and because he had taken off after I had left and had to be caught. I think he was trying to find me! I wish I could say that everything was terrific from the beginning, but the fact is that he did not trust me for quite some time. It turns out that he had been neglected and abused and it had taken the vet and team almost three months before they could get near him. He had literally chewed off his tail. He definitely had trust issues and was dog aggressive for a long time. The one salvation was that his friend Zoey was adopted by my neighbors and we met as the dogs literally dragged us together on the street. They have since become good friends and Zoey comes with us on walks at times. It took six months of work to to earn Groucho's complete trust. It took many walks on a leash, teaching him basic obedience, tricks etc. and making it very clear to him that I was the pack leader. It has been worth every minute as he has turned out to be a wonderful companion. He follows me everywhere at home or wherever we are. Lesson: It takes time, patience and hard work to build trust in a relationship.

Unconditional Love

My mother's mental decline due to Alzheimers and Dementia has been such heartache for me. She's still my mother, yet she isn't. We go to visit my parents and while she doesn't know I'm her daughter, she knows Groucho and her face lights up when she sees us. Groucho always looks after her when we visit, no matter what mood she is in. He sits by her, naps with her, and will growl at anyone who poses a threat to her (my brother found that out first hand!).   She loves to sit and pet him while we talk and feeds him tidbits from the table.Somehow his presence makes the whole experience more bearable. He gives unconditional love to my mother and to me. The lesson I have learned is to give my mother unconditional love and to be patient no matter what. You see, she knows there is something wrong, but doesn't know what it is. Groucho doesn't care that she's not all there, he loves her anyway. So do I.