Trail of Tears

My Mom has Dementia. She's had it for several years. About a year ago she started to forget who I was and who my brothers are. Our most recent part-time care giver decided she needed a full time job and called my mother's doctor to express her concerns about the general care of my mom. His Nurse, KP, paid a home visit and called me very concerned. The doctor referred us to Hospice, which at first my father refused to cooperate. Two weeks ago we had a COME TO JESUS meeting and we all decided that Mom needed more care than what Dad can provide and that Hospice is the way to go as she can die at home with dignity. This past Saturday we met with the Hospice team and learned about what they have to offer. They will provide part-time Home Health Aide care 4-5 days a week during the mornings. They informed us that Mom's not eating is part of the dying process and that she is in the end stage of Dementia and will die in a few weeks or months. They also provide nursing care and volunteer services. Since she will be a client of Hospice, no agency or person can declare neglect against my family. That is very reassuring to me. We convinced Dad that this is what Mom would want as she was a 22 year Hospice Volunteer. She would go sit with the patients while the caretaker went out for a while. My mom will die very soon. I don't know quite how my family and I will handle this. Then there is the concern that my 85 yr. old father plans to die at home. I'm not sure that he will be able to live in the home alone and may have to go to assisted living or something like that. People refer to Dementia as the ``Long Goodbye'' as it is a terminal disease that takes its time. I call it ``The Trail of Tears'' because I have been doing alot of crying over the years that she has been afflicted with this disease. I am sure Groucho would agree with me on that count. My mom and I have always had a very close relationship until the damned disease took over her mind. Now I will be losing her for a second time, but I will surely meet her in heaven one day along with her brothers(my uncles), a cousin, and my grandparents.